Mind is Wandering and I'm Pondering
As usual, my spinning class has pumped a significant amount of adrenaline through my veins making it hard for me to even think about sleep at the moment. Because I couldn't find any jigzone.com puzzles I liked to entertain me and quiet my mind and haven't really gotten into "Emma" yet, I'm left stressing about the things I always stress about. Okay, here it goes. Here's when my blog is less of a source of entertainment for some, and more of an actual journal for me. This part = kind of scary because while I'm a fairly open, extroverted person, I don't always feel comfortable broadcasting the not so funny, what's really on my mind.
1. Must decide between taking an uber expensive class at School of Visual Arts or International Center of Photography.
2. Must figure out how I'm going to afford to pay for this class plus an $800 DSLR.
3. Must finally get into the habit of bringing in my lunch everyday and living on $10 or less a day.
4. And.. I start getting inspired and going in all types of directions. I thank god for my varied interests and dare I say, talents, but sometimes needing to focus on just one can be quite a burden. In fact, the stress of trying to figure out which one to pick usually leaves me focusing on non of them.
5. Exploring number 4- I'd like to get into writing. Maybe take a class. Maybe finally purchase an actual desk in order to facilitate such writing. While using my laptop on my bed may seem comfy, it's not conducive to actually working. But such class will not be taken until after my fall photography course. And I continue to stress and question. Should I get my Masters? In what? I miss school. But then we come back to big issue always on my mind. MONEY. I'm still trying to financially recover from 18 months of being semi-employed and paying out of pocket health insurance in addition to student loans. Many people live with some serious school loans and debt but I'm determined to pay it off. At the moment, I don't see getting a Masters as a means to increase my pay or further my career. Oh yeah, and learning how to create a website would be cool. And maybe learning how to play guitar.
Okay, so now you see how my mind wanders. It's funny. When you're a kid, your parents and teachers try to get you to explore all different activities, hoping you'll find one you love. I loved them all. I'm eternally grateful to my parents. They gave me ice skating lessons. Arts and crafts, drawing, encouraged me to play sports, perform in musicals and sing in the choir. And now I miss creating jewelry (don't have the space), would love to be in a musical if I had the time but now you've sort of got to be a professional, always wondered if I do actually have a good voice, and constantly wonder if I should have used my drawing skills more directly in my job.
Yeah. So I have a tendency to over think things. Good night!